| flawed & imperfect – a journey of self love |

since i can remember, i’ve had a love/hate {mostly hate} relationship with my body and the way it looked. i was obsessed with having small thighs. a flat stomach. i was engulfed with being the skinny girl. it caused me to pick out the everything wrong with the way i looked instead of praising my body for what it allowed me to do. i would binge what felt like a million calories & spend the next few days eating very little to “reprimand” my body for allowing myself to eat so much. i was constantly standing in front of the mirror criticizing every flaw i could find. i had the desire to work out and eat healthy but was scared at the thought of gaining weight from any kind of muscle gain.

i was obsessed with my body for all the wrong reasons. it brought unnecessary anxiety to every situation i put myself in. my mind raced with thoughts wondering if everyone around me saw my body in the same way i did. flawed and imperfect.

this was my life for the last 5 years. but then it clicked, my body is damn near amazing. it’s what is giving me the ability to be alive. it keeps me nourished, rested.

after going through a really tough breakup in early this year, i realized that i was perfectly happy with me. flawed and imperfect. i realized i didn’t need someone to tell me how great i looked or how tiny my legs were.

my body is my temple. covered in scars, stretchmarks, and tattoos. my body is the one i get until the day i leave this earth. i began to appreciate my body for all it has been, all it is,  and all it will be.

about 6 months ago, i started practicing yoga at home. it started out pretty slow, stretching and working muscles that were stiff and not used to being worked. as i started gaining strength and balance, i began to appreciate my body more and more for everything it could do. i saw my body transform into something i was so beyond proud of.

yoga is more than the asanas. it’s the breathing, it’s learning patience, it’s being grateful for every moment. yoga is a place for me to always take refuge. on a bad day or an amazing one. it’s trusting that {with time} you’re body can do seriously crazy things. yoga is being grateful. for teaching you to smile through the falls {trust me, there are many}, how to breathe through the uncomfortable, and how to enjoy the journey more than reaching the destination.

with every passing day, i find myself loving the way i feel more and more. i love my legs that are becoming more toned, i appreciate my “food baby” because i know my body is getting the nutrition it needs. i love my flawed and imperfect body.

i’m enjoying getting where i want to be & in love with being present for the journey.

 

 

 

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